Today marks almost 2 weeks since my time of grief began. I last wrote about this on the 9th in a post titled A Double Dose Of Grief, and so this is an update.
In short, I am still grieving, but now a new grief has been added to it. You see, we attended the funeral today of Vernon Lee Brooks III, who is the brother of one of Leighton’s best friends, Jared Brooks.
Vernon was only 25, Jared is just a year younger, and the two were very close.
For me, two of my own brothers have died, but each one was old enough to be my uncle. And one of them, James, had four children of his own before I was even born.
Despite the age difference, their deaths were still very hard and I think about them often. I can only imagine what Jared is going through—even with the peace that comes from the assurance of Vernon’s salvation—and our family is praying for him.
Of my original two griefs, one of them I was not able to write about out of respect for my son and daughter-in-law while they grieved in private. The time for that has passed, and now Hannah has shared publicly in a blog post that they lost their daughter in a miscarriage.
And now we have learned her name … Khava Grace … our first granddaughter, whom we will now only meet in heaven.
Here are three excerpts of what Hannah wrote:
Three weeks ago I was pregnant. I was excited. I was nesting and daydreaming about what the coming months would hold. I would hold my tummy and talk to the child inside. My husband Leighton and I had picked out names and a nursery theme. And.. even though that baby wasn’t in our plan, it was in God’s and we loved that baby.
… Losing the baby taught me that life is short. It taught me that anything God creates, He can take away. It’s up to Him. This earth and this life are incredibly temporary and it is the next life that we should be concerned with. It’s the next life that counts for anything. Losing the baby allowed me to see God’s grace in a way I never had before. There’s something about having the body of someone who is now with Jesus inside of you.
… I take comfort in the thought that my baby is up in heaven playing with all it’s little cousins that were miscarried. It’s not alone. My baby is with Jesus. My baby was a gift from the Creator and has gone back to live with Him. My baby’s life was lived for the sake of glorifying Christ and for that I am thankful.
And so now you understand my grief. I shaved for the first time in many years because Leighton shaved. His goal was to grow his beard out until the baby was born, and what a beard he had! When they found out the baby had died, he shaved, and I joined with him out of solidarity.
And so even though we smile, and even when Jared smiles … we grieve .. and we live … and we laugh … and we praise … and we trust … and we grieve again. Isn’t life mixed up like that?
May the Lord comfort Jared, and may He comfort Leighton and Hannah.