Now if you haven’t read my review of Cyndere’s Midnight, take a look.
And if you haven’t read my interview yesterday with the author, Jeffrey Overstreet, please do so!
Now bear with me, I know interviewing Jordam, a murderous beastman, is dangerous.
All precautions have been taken, including putting myself into a cage in Tillianpurth.
And I’m not afraid to talk to him. Really. After all, isn’t he a tame beastman?
Well, I hope he is. Read on at your own risk.
(Click the following link to keep reading — interview below!)
RT: So Jordam, could you explain to us from which of the three major houses in the Expanse you are from?
RT: Jordam, no, you can leave the bars alone, no, no, don’t try to bend them. Really, I’m all right. Please sit down again, we’ve brought you a few cookies and some lemonade.
RT: No, Jordam, I’m not captured, its just that I, you know, I’m not used to being here in the frightful world of the Expanse.
RT: Yes, it is rather dangerous here, so please have a seat. That’s better. Now back to the question, from which of the three great houses are you from?
I am Cent Regus.
RT: Ah, yes, isn’t that the place where they manufacture that powerful soda-pop?
RT: Well, not exactly the lakewater, as nice as that is, I’m sure. I mean that other liquid, you know?
rrEssence. So much strength.
RT: Yes, that’s it. Nasty stuff. Hopefully with the economy tanking they’ll be shutting down some of the production. Anyway, I’m glad the ale boy doesn’t serve the stuff up.
RT: Yes, the Ale Boy, you know, Auralia’s boy.
O-raya gone. Jordam hurts.
RT: Speaking of her, now tell me what first brought you back to civilization? You look rather dashing in that sport-coat, you know.
RT: Yes, that tweed is a rather nice shade of blue, and what’s this about Caves? Is that some Men’s Wearhouse here in the Expanse? Caves, Inc.?
rrNo. O-raya. Paint colors.
RT: Well, I guess I’m getting off subject here. Tell me more about Auralia?
RT: Well of course. Sorry if I hit a nerve there, we can talk about it later if you like. Tell me about your family. What kind of inspiration did they give you?
RT: He must have been a good role model, eh?
RT: Well, you must have learned something from him?
Always let Older Brother go first.
RT: Ah, there we have it, a true gentleman! Now, tell me more about the colors. I hear they’re all the rage throughout the Expanse.
rrCent Regus took them.
RT: Well, they didn’t take all of them, did they?
RT: Are you sure? I mean, didn’t Cyndere have a portion. I seem to remember something like that. Even the Ale Boy.
I lied. Better than Essence.
RT: Okay, but lets not let that happen again. You don’t want our audience distrusting your answers, now do we? And wasn’t there something about a well in this story? I’m a bit thirsty myself, could you pass me some of that lemonade?
RT: Well, I suppose a whole pitcher isn’t quite enough for someone with an appetite like yours, but you don’t have to glug it all down while I’m sitting stuck in this cell feeling rather thirsty.
rrGood water. Drink.
RT: Yes, yes of course. Lets change the subject. Tell me about your dreams. Do you have any aspirations in life?
rrWeakerfolk in my dreams.
RT: Like who? You must really look up to them.
rrSin-der? rrO-raya. Keeper.
RT: I rather look up to the jailkeeper myself. I hope he doesn’t forget about me locked in here. Oh, and what about the leader of your house. What’s his name, Mr.? Mr.?
RT: Yes, Mr. Chieftain. Tell me about him.
Dangerous. rrEssence. So much strength.
RT: Yes, well, I think we’ve been over this before. Tell me, do you have any upcoming plans? New acting jobs? Any speaking engagements?
rrSummer. Still growing. Help.
RT: Yes, yes, it sounds like you’d like to have a garden, but I’m you know, I have three left thumbs and can’t help you with it. Maybe ask someone else. Maybe your older brother, he sounds rather strong you know.
rrWe should go back.
RT: Yes, it is time to wrap this up. Do you have any parting questions you’d like to ask the author, Jeffrey Overstreet? I’ll be sure to pass the question on to him and get back with you.
rrWho is the white giant?
RT: Well, that is a question we’ve all been asking, isn’t it? As soon as I know, I’ll send you a text message. Anyway, on your way out, could you tell the jailkeeper we’re done, so he can let me out?
Jordam, no, don’t try to open the lock yourself. No, hitting it won’t help anything. The jailkeeper, he has a key, really. No, please set that rock down. Ah, well, the lock is smashed shut now. Jordam, please tell the jailkeeper, no, don’t climb out the window. Come back!
RT: Ah well, Robert Treskillard here, signing off. I do hope the jailkeeper remembers me soon. If only I had a pitcher of that lemonade… or maybe some pear cider. Alas…
And in case anyone is wondering, all of the things Jordam says in this interview came straight from the book. Here are the page numbers, in order, if you’d like to look them up:
101, 112, 265, 263, 49, 126, 164, 168, 167, 93, 166, 71, 335, 256, 323, 315, 259, 336, 327, 335, 329, 93, 44, 167, 33, 336, 48, 265, 126, 341, 363, 95, and 232.
And of course, I guarantee that each one was taken out of context!